I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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