i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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