dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
