Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
