Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
nutella sex= disaster
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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