I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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