It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
