Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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