theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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