WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
