After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
