used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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