arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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