Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
