we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
