No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
