he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
