Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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