My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
