i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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