yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
