Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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