so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize