i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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