My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
