I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
