i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize