definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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