Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
