Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
