Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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