this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
