Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
