Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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