Your tits are I can't wait for
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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