I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize