he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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