I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
