I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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