White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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