so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
