when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
