i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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