i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
