I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
