no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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