So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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