Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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