are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
