I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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