How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
