pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
