sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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