People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
