At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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