so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
