This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize