so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
