Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
