he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's get the cat blown out
My vagina just clenched in fear
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
