Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
