Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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