Non-Jews are for practice
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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