sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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